36. A Whole New World

beatleandme

July 11th this little bundle of joy finally arrived. We had scheduled an induction because, as my OB put it, baby girl wasn’t getting any smaller but Miss Beatle Butt decided that she would choose her own arrival time and I went into labor as we were leaving for the pre-admission appointment. I had just pulled into our driveway and was walking toward Mister’s car and WHOOSH a whole bunch of liquid appeared in a previously dry place. I went to the bathroom to make sure I hadn’t just peed myself in a big way but no. There is a large difference between the sensation of your water breaking and the sensation of peeing yourself. Life has been an absolute whirlwind ever since that moment, as if it hadn’t already been that way.

There was a time in my life that I believed that I would never be married, never have kids, and never have a home of my own. They were things that seemed so random and unable to be planned that I tucked my hope away and decided to just wait it out. Eventually, I took the stance that I didn’t even WANT those things because it was easier to pretend to not want them instead of worrying about the where and when and hows. Then I met Mister and I realized that if I was going to be married to anyone it would be someone like him. So, I followed him to Texas and starting building a life with him. A year and a quarter later we were married and had found and purchased a house that we loved. Two months later, the week of Thanksgiving, we found out about Beatle.

For the most part, I like moving at a fast pace. Things get done quicker and there’s less chance that you get stuck in a limbo situation (one of my least favorite situations to be stuck in). Now that Beatle is here though I can already see how much faster time flies when you want to slow it down. I’m hoping to eventually master some of the tricks from The Matrix or Professor X so I can freeze time every once in a while.

I’m looking forward to the next few years of nothing (compared to the last couple of years of moving and school and wedding and baby and school and holidays and trips home and school and homemaking.. etc). I have about three semesters left in my Master’s program and until that’s done and I have breathing room in my schedule I’m just going to use every ounce of free time to take everything in. I want to absorb every single little look, giggle, and movement our little one makes and keep it locked in my heart forever. In the past year, Mister and I’s marriage has only gotten sweeter and I can’t wait to see how we continue to grow together to form a cohesive team. Our little house becomes more of a home every day and I can’t wait until the holidays come and everything is warm and sparkly and full of love. Things feel like they’re on the right path and I couldn’t be more thankful. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself how well things work out in the future so that I could stop internalizing my worry. Hopefully, I can prevent Beatle from ever putting that amount of weight on her shoulders. I guess that’s how life works: one generation tries to prevent the next from making the same mistakes.